Join me in my Journey!

Where I am today... The Journey continues.

Hello everyone I would like to start off by giving you all a little update about me and where I am at this point in my life. It has been a little over two years since my last post and a lot has happened in this short time. I am 22 years old now and have one more beautiful baby girl that arrived early in 2015. I am now officially married to the love of my life, and am employed by the county in which I reside. As I write this in the midnight hour I know that I have been very blessed to be where I am today. I have been able to take my family on a few vacations, been able to purchase a new car, and have had the opportunity to network and meet new people from all over.

In recent days I have been thinking about how far I have come since high school. For example, My wife loves to ask me about my mindset back in my teenage years and how I figured my life would be after high school and college. Not like this. I imagined I would have graduated high school, went to college, and bought a home, all before settling down and raising a family. In reality, I have been blazing my own trail through life and it sure has been a blast. There's been bumps in the road and obstacles to overcome but I have been able to push through them and make learning experiences out of them. This life so far couldn't be more different than what I imagined for myself back in high school.

I never graduated high school. Instead, I dropped out and received a GED after finding out I was about to have a baby. I guess you can say that the youthful mentality contributed to this. I figured dropping out and getting the GED would allow me to apply for a coveted city or county job with those super benefits for my new baby. Little did I know that government jobs take a really long time to get into (The county job I have now took me two years to get into). I also pushed college off for the longest time before realizing that I need a degree in order to get where I want to be. I have been attending college now and have a goal of becoming a probation officer for the county I work for. I currently hold a non-sworn civilian position in the probation department. This was truly a blessing and no doubt in my mind that it was the work of God.

I am now a father of two toddlers and a husband. We live with my mother-in-law because it's ridiculously expensive in our region of the USA. I have watched my high school class graduate from universities with bachelor's degrees this past June, and I think to myself "Wow, I truly am blessed" I don't have to start 2016/2017 from square one when it comes to looking for a job. I have been able overcome the doubters and beat the "statistics". I have a great family, a great career, car, and a roof over our heads.

Though I pictured my life completely different back then, I would not change it for a second, My journey continues and I know there will be hard times that come but there are sure to be great times ahead as well. I will continue working hard because hard work truly pays off and it's evident when somebody looks at how far I have come in such a short time.

If you are a young parent or about to be a young parent, I know you may feel like for world is rapidly changing and you feel like you are stuck in a situation where you may not be able to support your child, just know that you can do this. Work hard and take it day by day. This life will not be easy and you will feel like breaking down (I have done this plenty of times) but don't give up, hard work really does pay off. Your child is your motivation and you will succeed. You may not have pictured your life this way, but it is about to get a thousand times better than you could have ever imagined. You will have a love for your children that you never had for anybody before and that in itself is truly an amazing feeling. You are not alone.
You can do this.

Communication Between Partners

  Having communication is the key in having a solid foundation to raise your baby. It is not always easy to keep the communication open between each other but that is all a part of being human. The more you communicate the happier you will be.

  People have differences and their own opinions, it is not always easy to find common ground when you are in a relationship where a baby is also in the mix. In my own experience I have found it difficult at times to find common ground with my girlfriend when it comes to how we raise our daughter, this comes from the fact that we are two different people and we were raised two different ways. The way you were raised really does have a HUGE impact on the way you would like your own child to be raised, and not only does the way you were raised have this impact, but your life experiences have a part in it as well.

  Each and everyone of us have all been through some sort of situation in our life that has had a big impact on our lives. I never really had an opportunity to establish a relationship with my biological father due to his own actions, but I was blessed by having a step dad there to raise me. He is my dad. My real dad. But this had an impact on me and I find myself striving to be the best dad I can be to my daughter and the best partner to my girlfriend.

  Compromising and finding a middle ground with your partner can really be helpful in raising your child. It will be hard to do this and even to this day in my relationship I still find it hard to compromise with her. The best thing to do is to choose your battles. Your baby watches every little thing you do and babies are like sponges they soak up everything around them. If I am always arguing with my girlfriend my daughter will see this and will eventually start arguing with us.

  Keep communication open, if you feel the urge to argue sit back and remember to choose your battles. If you disagree with your partner don't be quick to argue, instead, sit down and talk it out. If you approach your partner in a passive way 9 times out of 10 they will be more likely to compromise and agree upon a middle ground. Arguments lead to chaos in a home and chaos leads to problems nobody wants to have. Communicate and compromise and you, your partner, and your child will be happy in this journey through life.

Being A Young Parent

   Nobody ever told me it would be easy. Nobody ever told me it would be a walk in the park. All that was ever told to me was that it would be a struggle day to day. I remember that day like it was yesterday, we were in a hospital room awaiting the final moments of pregnancy and the beginning moments of parenthood. My life changed that very day.
 
  My daughter came into the world September 1st and it was the proudest day of my life. There I was 19 years old with a baby of my own, a little life that will depend on me. The true definition of happiness entered my life as I held that little baby and kissed her soft forehead, because I knew this was my daughter and nobody could ever change that.

  It has been a tough road and I will never tell you that it's an easy one because it's not. There are daily challenges that come along with being a young parent. For example, work will always be something that has great meaning in your life. Nothing ever comes free and baby's are no exception to this "rule". There are a lot of expenses that you will be faced with such as formula (if your child will be formula fed), and diapers. Both of these alone have, in my experience, been two of the biggest expenses. So work is something you have to have in order to be prepared for this.

  In my time of being a parent (which has only been 11 months) I have been through 4 jobs and the road has been rough but worth it. Don't ever feel bad if you go through a few different jobs, the main thing is finding some place where you can be happy but still be a provider for your new family.

  Anxiety has been an issue through my parenthood and I am still trying to find ways to deal with the feelings I have. I can honestly say that I was not prepared for this big step in my life and if you are reading this, it is most likely that you probably can relate to this. If you are a young parent you can see the difference between your life before and after your child. I can say I was just out of being a child myself and went right into the role of being a father. It was a lot to take in at once and it was almost like shock because here I was still a "teenager" going from depending on somebody to becoming depended on. It wasn't easy but it eventually gets easier.

  Society often frowns upon the "young parent" and they always find ways of making you feel like you made a mistake.. trust me I know how this feels. Over the past 11 months I have been stared at and talked down on. What I have learned through it all is that people will be human and we all have a right to an opinion but we also have the right to disagree with their opinions. Society will talk down on you. Let them. They want to see you fail so they can say "we told you so". My way of looking at it is prove them wrong, beat the statistics.

  If you have your partner in your relationship odds are you guys both are still trying to figure this out, I know my girlfriend and I are still working through the bumps still to this day. Communication is key in this, without communication you will feel like you are alone and that your partner doesn't understand and trust me that is the worst feeling. Always keep in mind that this is a partnership and you both are in it together and you are there to build one another up each day. If you keep an open line of communication, not only will your relationship stay healthy but your child will grow up happy also.

  Struggles come with this life and it will not always be easy. Society will always find a way to be judgemental, but let them they always will be judgemental. The only thing that matters is that you be the best parent you can be to that child of yours and give them a good example on the kind of person to be as they grow. Stay strong because the road gets easier each and every day and you will see all of the blessings that come with being a young parent! :-)

-Joshua